it a complete pain
pain of the energy to make it every day
pain of of a love i lost
pain that over takes my every waking.
every day strolling threw my life.
A walk threw my shoes is a life of torture.
Im never filled up, never complete
the things that fill my world is a withering roots of a dieing tree. The roots try to survive but life takes it away.
my world of hope my world of wanting and i live in a world of trying to be blessed but im tortured every day.
I feel punished, alone, and my body and mind acks for comfort.
I feel like a old weathered shoe that is being used to walk in.
The shoe cracking against the pavement being used until the day comes im no longer useful.
My abilities is love and caring but i have my life to live which drains it away.
My face hurts with tiredness, my mind cries for relief.
I feel my shoulders hold the world with all my concerns but where is it leading me?
Pain im in pain in my mind my soul and i cry every day for just 1 ounce o
leaf in my heartI will place you in my heart like a leaf blowing in the wind, as my heart beats the little leaf in my heart will float around loving you with every beat.
You made me beautiful to myself,
you made me pretty to my vision of me not for all the world but for myself,
you cared enough to know,
you cared enough to want to know,
you cared enough to let me see who i am through you love,
you understand me, and you love me know other way but for who i am,
you let me shine threw my inner beauty,
you made me see things i didn't know existed
you helped me to paint the world with more knowledge,
and still to this day you are thousands of miles away,
but you my dearest sit at the thrown of my heart forever more,
and you my dear one even though it will be eternity that we ever touch again,
you are my true love forevermore.
A unlit candle lay in the snow of unforgotten the wax depleted, the wick short and all is evaporated out of the jar of once warmth. The wick and the wax was overcome in the middle of the night, when no one was around, it was smothered out by the darkness, and the jar was left smoldering on the stove left empty and alone. The lit flame was a voice that pierced the night the words danced in the ears of life and was fed by a inner peace of love and completeness.
The little flame voice asked over and over again for friend ship to not be left alone, but no matter what the little flame did, or asked it was not heard. Life took turns and things changed but the little flame was a comfort it was lit over and over again, people taking what was needed, easy to take but hard to give back. The feeling left behind was of questions why? where do you turn alone, and who do you tell?
The little candle was throw-ed out into the cold snow bank feeling useless, icy cold, and nothing to offer. In the end t
Life and the leaf.
I came to this earth like a leaf in a pod.
I entered out of the womb like the leaf that began to grow.
Everyone loved to look at me, and they enjoyed the newness of the newly born child, just like we love to see the season change into spring.
I was taken care of from my parents, with love and nurturing, just like the little leaf that had sunlight, and water that helped to make it grow.
I was full of energy, and glowed with delight.
I grew into something beautiful, so young and full of dreams, like a leaf in the summertime, so green and full of life.
I lived my life working hard trying to do what is right, living on my dreams, and my beautiful vision of life, just like the leaf that was stuck in the sun, in the middle of August into summer sun, life was not perfect and i got bruised along the way. I began to see you have to be tough along the way.
I had a family, and i worked it seemed all day, just like the leaf that was part of a tree, standing beside the mother bird that fed her bab
SilenceSilence is more powerful than any word spoken.
Silence is the most expressive statement a human can make.
Silence can be read thru a persons eyes from across a room.
Silence is the truth or a lie.
Silence is your friend or your enemy.
Silence is a human watching observing your actions without a word.
Silence is wisdom.
Silence is a statement.
Silence is peace.
Silence is wonder.
Silence is inner acceptance.
Silence is a secret.
Silence makes decisions.
Silence is a virtue.
Silence is peace.
Silence bring thought.
Silence pain behind a smile.
Silence is the beginning or end to a storm.
Silence is a snail that moves along the ground.
Silence is the growth of a tree 100 years and passing.
Silence is the attack before a strike.
Silence is Creation growing inside a mothers womb.
silence is a the sun rays shining on the earth.
Silence is the is the words we tell our self's
Silence can be the most sensual touch.
I have learned that silence speaks louder than words, and holding your silence is
leafsSilently i fall to the earth.
silently letting you walk on by.
I lay there silently as i change from youth to old, my colors fading and my edges torn.
I let the rain fall upon my face and the mud cover parts of me.
I'm walked upon and pushed into the earths surface.
I was once looked upon as a welcoming season of change i was pretty to the eye.
Now i lay here as the season ends with mud upon my face, and pushed into the earth.
My outer appearance is torn and turned brown and now im not noticed anymore!
The many voices of value.
How can you value possessions if you cant take them with you?
How can you value what you have if you always look for more?
How can you value money if you don't spend it wisely?
How can you value effort it it never takes action?
How can you value a opinion if it is expressed wrong way?
How can you value pride if it stands in your way?
How can you value a question if you don't find the answer?
How can you value of a book if your forget what you read?
How can you value of freedom of speech if you don't use it?
How can you value change if you don't make into something better?
How can you value your beliefs if you don't stand up for your beliefs?
How can you value expectations if you don't place it where it can be achieved?
How can you value the worlds suffering if things seem to get worse?
How can you value earth if we don't take care of it?
How can you value time if you can never get it back?
How can you value age if you don't use your wisdom?
How can you value gossip if the story keeps c
nosy peopleHave you ever watched someone who is nosy?
Do they even know what they look like?
Do they really even care?
The go around judging everything and gossiping cant wait to tell someone what they saw or how they feel. They cant seem to function with out having to know what is going on!
Oh mY God did you see that? ooooo that was so not what i would do!!!!!
Thats wrong, don't you think you could have done it this way?
It also seems they always try to be perfect dress well, smile a lot but really what it looks like to many is that you are not perfect your just plain nosy ready to gossip and really in the end who really cares what you have to say? only ones who listen are people just like them confused and lost!
Ugly Scars“Why do you cut, dear?”
“Doesn’t it hurt?”
Of course it does –
It hurts more than I’m worth
“Why do you cut, dear?”
“Aren’t you ashamed?”
Of course I’m embarrassed,
But I’m used to the blame.
“Why do you cut, dear?”
“Why don’t you stop?”
Can you stop a dead body
From starting to rot?
Because, darling, you see,
I’m not even here.
I’m only a corpse
With no hope, and no fear.
“Why do you cut dear?”
Well, don’t you see?
There’s a pain inside
So deep within me
And it’s coming to the surface
But no one understands
So I put that pain
Inside my hands.
And I lay it out
For all to see
On wrists so red
And forearms that bleed.
“Why do you cut, dear?”
“It’s ugly, you know.”
“ugly” is exactly
What this is meant
bullets in a shot glassAgain the archers are aching,
again their bones are breaking
like the cracks in the Colosseum.
Death does not defend
fighters; he does not fulfill
godly goals of
heaven and halos.
I am inverted, introverted,
a jester jeering
at kids who kiss
like life is long enough to fall in love.
my mouth is a machine,
a new nightfall
ordering our soldiers out
into pits where they pray for peace.
the quirks of our
ridiculous readings rule us,
sand us into sculptures
thin and tall, trembling.
our universe is built on uncertainty
and vicious virtues
written by long-dead warriors who
expected to live forever, and
I do not yield to your
Self-Harm Isn't a HandbagPick at the scabs of the ghosts of scars
On the insides of my wrists,
White hot pain memories shoot up my veins
And the tear vapour creates mists
In the lenses of my glasses.
My world narrows down to those
White stitch marks that keep the
Patchwork of my forearms and thighs
Keeping the dark ugly hurt
On the insides
How could I have done this to myself?
Could I blame you?
And her too?
I’m a big girl now,
And the blame rests on my wrists,
That flicked the blade
And sprayed the blood,
And the mind that forbade
Me to ask for help.
I’ve said it before
And I’ll say it again;
It isn’t beautiful
To put yourself through such pain.
When your head is buzzing
From the hit of the high
Of a new cut on your thigh,
Or your mind is lost in a mist
Of ecstasy from a new slice
On your wrist
And you’re dependent on it
A junkie needing a hit,
It isn’t pretty or cute or special.
No amount of kisses
Will undo the cuts
Or absorb the scars.
he saved me, but he killed me.
i. first light- i met you in a crimson forest.
it was a rose garden summer, and out of a black mercedes
you walked out, your five year old eyes greener than
you reached up to pluck a rose from its stem, and offered it to me.
"what's your name?"
daddy told me that i couldn't tell strangers my real name.
I looked at the rose in my hand.
you smiled, you were a seastorm of now long-gone innocence.
i didn't understand
but I knew.
ii. i forgot about you for
1562 days, 11 hours, and 22 minutes,
my name, but i didn't recognize you
until i saw your eyes.
iii. my father fell and didn't stand back up again.
i screamed, and you carried me home.
iv. i didn't talk for a week.
i stared at the gray of the sky. it was the color of my father's eyes.
you sat next to me in the pouring rain,
Anxiety attackAs the attack begins,
I feel myself slipping away again.
And I question things that are better left unsaid.
And contemplate if I am better off dead.
My anxiety is killing me,
I feel my hands shaking.
And I am sobbing.
And am I dying?
I am just trying,
To get a grip.
But I feel my reality slip through my finger tips.
Nothing is real,
Except every bit of pain my mind forces me to feel.
Every memory that I had shoved away.
Is now racing around my brain.
It's driving me insane.
And my limbs turn to jello.
Every time my head hits the pillow,
Before I go to bed.
I start to panic and I am wide awake instead.
More thoughts are swarming around like a hurricane.
Make it stop!
And just like that,
The attack is gone.